I was chatting to one of my coaching clients the other day. She was feeling frustrated because she’d somehow got herself into a situation where she was doing loads of things for free – without even realising it.
She’d been answering endless “quick question” DMs on Instagram. Having “pick your brain” coffees. Giving advice in Facebook groups. Driving miles to meet someone who’d been getting free coaching for months. When she added it all up, she was spending more time working for free than she was on paid work.
Sound familiar?
How It Creeps In
It’s sneaky. It starts with wanting to be helpful – which is lovely and completely natural. You answer a question in someone’s DMs. Then another. Then someone asks if you can “just have a quick look” at something. Before you know it, you’re basically running a free consultancy service while your actual business sits there wondering where you’ve gone.
It often kicks in after a quiet patch. You’re trying to get back into work mode, you’re a bit desperate for clients, and so you say yes to everything – including things you should be charging for.
The Lightbulb Moment
My client had her lightbulb moment when she realised she’d driven an hour each way to meet someone who’d never paid her a penny – and probably never would. She looked at her week and thought: “What am I DOING?”
And here’s the brilliant part. Within an hour of our chat, she sold 2 places on her coaching programme. Then 5 more that afternoon. She was like a different woman. All it took was for her to shift her focus from giving everything away to valuing what she offers.
How To Stop Giving It Away
Set boundaries with your DMs. It’s fine to be helpful, but when someone’s asking for detailed advice that would normally be a paid service – redirect them. “That’s a great question! I actually cover this in my 1:1 coaching – here’s the link if you’d like to book.”
Ditch the “pick your brain” coffees. Replace them with a paid discovery call or power hour. Set it up on Calendly or Acuity with Stripe payment built in. If someone values your expertise, they’ll pay for it.
Give value in public, charge in private. Share tips freely on your Instagram, your blog, your newsletter – that’s marketing and it reaches everyone. But the personalised, specific, tailored-to-you advice? That’s what you charge for.
Know your worth. Your knowledge, your experience, your expertise – they have VALUE. Every time you give them away for free to someone who should be paying, you’re telling yourself (and them) that your work isn’t worth paying for. And that’s just not true.
Your challenge: look at your week and honestly assess how much of your time is going on unpaid work. Then set one boundary this week. Just one. And watch what happens.